Monday, July 21, 2008
AS MY WHOLE WORLD CAME CRASHING DOWN.it's not just pms-ing..or the cramps that are making me puke and losing my appetite.i couldn't fall asleep after what you said,
your gone. forever.
realisation struck, just as you struck me.
the pain, when you told me everything that ever was, was a lie...
you want me to hate you don't you?
stayed very still, but it still didnt work.
i just broke down.
the silence,
thought of everything through.
no, not just you.
everything...
the quarrel.
the disgust felt inside,
the sudden recognision for a dissappointment in you.
the urge to puke when i see you,
when i saw how you appear each and everytime.
its horrible. its like a bad taste in the mouth.
i don't know how you even manage to do all that.
but yours its just a minor.my facades are good enough to conceal.but one day, maybe one day.
i'll come out true.
that very one day,
it would be my silence for all to hear.
my aunt,
i'm gonna lose her soon.
seeing the fear of death in her eyes,
the drugs she's on just to keep her alive.
i can do nothing once again, two times in a fucking row
i can't help.your pain that point of time.
ice, you said you wanted it too, death.
i couldn't help you too...
i just say "don't".
you went "why can't i want that."
silence.
then you said "don't."
but i still did so...
i ran away.
What you have for me i finally know, it's superfical.
we are just killing each other.
you gave me a stab, but i pushed the knife harder in.
so that in time, no matter how tough it would be,
i won't turn back and seek for you.
because i know if i ever did,
i would pain you more without even trying.
In this life...I'm that useless.
I have no idea what I want anymore.
but I have to go on don't I?
it's just a spam of pain at the heart
and a sick pit in the stomach every single morning.
just like everyone says to live till the day you die.
my cramps are killing me.
leaving behind a beautiful chaos... 2:56 PM.
