it's worth a try...
no one heard.
i succeed.

i feel like drawing.
silent screams.
plastic barrier walls separating two rooms.

this fucking picture in my head.
GET OUT.


The tea leafs left in the teacup.

reached home.
it look so dark this time,
i sense something wrong.
something real wrong.

went into the living room, the tv is on.
nobody seems around tho.
walked into the kitchen, no food.
noone.

silently walked pass my mum's room.
took a glimpse.
saw her on her bed, lying face up staring ahead.
went in, sat next to her.
she didn't look at me....

a look at her face.
it all seems so blur in the dark,
i went nearer..
swollen red eyes.
slighty runny nose.
she has been crying.

it hurts deep inside.
she still didn't look at me.
i holded her hand.
it burned.
she's got high fever.


two words she told me.
She's dying.
i understood it all.


i'm sorry.



christ is evelyn's doll for wednesday.
i smell DOOMSDAY.
where all bungs will cry.
and girls rule over us.

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

dress dress dress.
LADIES NIGHT.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO......


Poison.

i cant come up with anything constructive at all.
not when i feel so empty all over again.
it's just a fucking tendancy that
whenever i feel overwhelmed or scared i go blank.
emotionless shit.

well, i hate hospitals.
and it's not about me this time,
don't we all
just hate cancer.


gosh.
woke up early today.
they left.
just a note again..
"will be back to pick you all up, later."

argh. i hate the place i call home.
sometimes.

Now you see 3 retards BLASTING MUSIC,
feeding ourselves
DANCING around the house.
hahha.

It's a saturday.
Lalalala~



-----------------------------------------------------------------------
FRIDAY. SCHOOL WAS HORRIBLE.
yes, i forgot to eat again.
so fucking stressful that i had to do
pushups to release tension, or i swear i would
have punched kiat in the face already.
AHHHH!!!

okay, so after school.
my parents went missing again.
had dinner with zinc, gracia and sy at yoshinoya,
then sy wanted to get clips or like something to hold her hair up.
what do i know about them hurrrhhh..

Then i started to be gay, according to zinc.
so i was waiting around for zinc to finish choosing rings
and sy to finish finding her clips.

i was playing with clips when....
gracia clipped a butterfly onto my hair,
and so everything cute in the shop went onto my hair.

yes, i look reallyyy...
i duno. eww.


NO. I'M NOT SHOWING YOU THE
PICTURE WITH A RED TEDDY CLIP.
hahah.


was suppose to head down after i get home
to bliss to meet HOT BABE and the rest.
as i said was suppose to...

just as i was supose to meet jie and sebas today..
so screwed up.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

i need a lil time,
for myself.

don't all of us?

MEET THE DOLLFIES!

Black Ducan.


























Ducan.



























OMG. i'm in love!
hahahhaaa.


Voice of reason.
why did i realise it only now?

Flashback.
playing downstairs.
heard them said that you were crying,
ran up the stairs to your room,
seems like eternity,
stumbled once.
finally.. touched the doorknob twist and turned.
locked.
i knocked but you didn't open the door.
then i heard krismaine say that there's
this other girl was in the room locked in with you.

so i sat at the edge of the balcony outside,
the one only you and i knew of.
then the downpour came,
came crashing down inside out.
i stared back into the room behind me, yours.
no. i didn't run for shelter.

i turn back to face night view in front of me.
i didn't hear you open the other door.
you came and hugged me from behind me,
you held my hand and led me in.
thats all i ever wanted
or maybe, not.
because i didn't realise that we were.

i didn't talk to you after that.
a few days later,
you called me up.
explained to me.

we agreed to choose the same destiny before,
but i choose another this time.
away from you.

i don't know why,
i looked pass you.
it's nothing anymore.

im sorry i didn't say my last goodbye,
my lil sparrow.
goodbye.


Sebastien says:
how about i skin your teddy bears?

TEDDY BEARS RUNNNNNN!


Meanwhile, VALERIE.
is trying to figure out if her PP advisor is LESBIAN.
she was instructed by her PP advisor to meet her during her breakout...
val: "her hair is shorter then angel's!"
"she's sick, she wants me to think of her everyday."
"she's making life difficult for me,
she asks me to meet her but she never turns up."

LAWLS. this is what i made of it.
christ: "i think she wants your attention, you know like some guys do?
make life difficult for you so that you remember him."
"OMG. she wants to hit on you. AAAHHHHHHH!!!"

poor Jael!


We weren't suppose to be this way.
yes, we weren't.
you lied, it became otherwise.
i'm leaving.


MONDAY MADNESS.!
is pure funfunfun!!

what has the monkey gotta do with my day?
hahhaaa. practically nothing.

yes, it's random but
it's SO CUTE CAN!

like me huuurrr. =P
nono, i insist.




school was alright, did codings again,
muti-tasked really well the whole day,
help fynn with codes,
help sy with codes at the same time,
listen to music at one ear,
talk to rong and angel at the same time.
after school waited for sebas as he has UT,
he was really nice to accompany me till 6+pm.



given 2 hours+.
sebas and i went on AMAZING RACE.! haha.
so we hoped onto his mini cooper,
wanting to pick up jie from her house.
her house was like at chao chu kang,
sebas says he has no idea how to get there from woodlands,
so he handed me his STREET DIRECTORY BOOK!

I was like not looking at him...
i was calling jie up asking her about her block number and stuff,
at the same time fliping through the STREET DIRECTORY.
then sebas suddenely set off, scared the hell out of me
MUST HE STEP ON THE GAS THINGY SO HARD.!
then on the way there, i realised his going the correct way
without me guiding him,

i was like ;"your on the right road!"
he was like; "really? well that's cause i'm SMART."
i was quite in awe,
thinking he got the whole of the route mapped out in his head.
then something distracted me.
i heard this other guy's voice in the speakers,
muffled by the music his blasting..
i asked him abt the voice, he said it's nothing,
so i tot maybe its the radio station or something,
but then it hit me that his playing his MP3 what.
nevermind that, i brush it aside.

i realised his directory book is really new i asked him..
"SEBAS, how come your book is so new?"
he giggled! HE GIGGLED! omg.
then i heard that guy's voice in the speaker again.
this time even more clearly,
"TURN LEFT AT THE NEXT EXIT."


I swear i almost threw the book at him lor.
GPRS ROUTE PLANNER SYSTEM!
nahbehhhhh.

and then while fighting with me,
he actually missed the exit!
haha. sebas. haha.
so i gotta use the DIRECTORY book to guide him to jie's hse still. =]



then sebas says SINCE IM THE MOST ROTTEN,
[ROTTEN EQUALS WORSE THEN SPOILT.]
i decide where to eat!
SUSHI!!! i scream.
so we went to the nearest sushi outlet.


SAKAE SUSHI.


















We ate.


and ate.


and ate.


and ATE.









until i was LATE FOR THE MOVIE SESSION.
gosh. i wana slap myself lor.



then sebas had to fetch me back and rushing through the traffic like mad.
i swear he was SPEEDING.
so i met pebbles got the movie ticks for 9.40 instead of 7.40.
like so screwed up, so many people.
so we headed down to her place since we got time,
she grabbed dinner and so i stayed in her room,
well, i was invading her privacy abit.
BUT she said to feel free to look around what!
saw stuff that she draw and some other stuff.


they are really nice,
wait it's more then nice.
i love art and something else.
i could totally sit there forever,
if it wasn't for the movie.
i wanted to find it.

her study room was .........
she said the rest that saw was like saying, WHAT A MESS!

i went, actually quite neat what.
i said would say A ORGANISED MESS.
A ORGANISED MESSED, just like mine!

i was telling her so about mine was the same.
hahaha.



know what is ORGANISED MESS PEOPLE?
let me illustrate my point;
let's just take my study room for example..

Ohoh, on the floors are cushions
and all of my bags and stuff.

if you touch them your dead,
i find stuff better this way.
believe me when i say,
i can tell if someone rummaged through my stuff.
DONT TOUCH!





then so we went to watch
"DON"T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN!"
i'm good hearted. i swear.
DONT WATCH IT.
it's all fucking sexual humour.
totally spoil my mood only, felt sick in the stomach.
cannot imagine if i watch it with zinc, gosh.

they should like rename the movie title like,
"IT'S ALL DICK, SEX AND 2nd DEGREE PORN
PLUS A THROW IN OF PUKEY FEELING."

so i took a cabby home after that.
reach home.
took a bath.
wait for her to get home.
hit the sacks.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another random picture found:





yes, that's ling, she just slept on me.
saying it's so comfortable.


its like 11+ at suntec only.
shows how tired she is while
waiting for mel and si ley.


HECTIC CANOEING TRAINING.
imagine me like her.
gosh, im glad i QUIT ARH!




-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did i tell you i hate Fynn?
Reasons being:

1. she says she hates me too, because whenever i'm around
she does all the paisei things/ wrong stuff and she have no idea why.

2. she left after her presentation just now, now i'm bored as hell.

3. she just called me "that bitch" just now,
JUST because i forgot to help her charge her reddy.

4. the toilet incident. [i'm saving her face, i'm not telling you guys. ]

5. she hates wearing shoes.


============================================================


EVER SEEN A TOTAL STRANGER BIANBIAN [POOPOO] IN FRONT OF YOU?
gosh. i couldnt believe it happened to me monday morning!
i pushed the door of the toilet at CWP BK in the morning,
just wanting to take a innocent PEE.

Fuck all that i got greeted by was not only the toilet bowl,
but a NAKED ASS with the notion of DARRIHOEA leaking out.
i heard two SPLATs onto the toilet bowl before i actually got over my shock,
and scramble out of the place....

I'm glad, i wasn't greeted with the DICK and NAKED ASS.
just abit harder a push and i would have saw EVERYTHING.
A DICK THAT IS NOT ERECTED! gosh.

grossgross.
at the rate that i'm going, i'm LESBIAN for the rest of my life man.!

================================================================

Tuesday is boring,
i have no idea what i'm doing at class.
nothing goes in, nothing goes out.
when the faci asks me question's i didnt answer,
because i didn't feel like answering.
PLUS.
my head hurts,
my neck got cramp.
i need sleep.

Reina said zinc jio-ing us go BLISS tonight.
fuck, i'm tired.
and sick, sick of being tired.
and my heart is killing me.
and BROKE!

i seriously have to make a mental note not to spend 100 a day.
ARGGGGHHHHH!

FUCK SHUT UP CHRIST, YOUR JUST IRRITATABLE TODAY.
enough.

SCHOOL END!!!!




SHEAR ARHH.
i don't want you already lah.

30. Do you have a crush on anyone?
shhhh...my lips are sealed.

99. What if your stead two-timed you?
thats common. Right!? and not just two-timed.
I bet its hundreds billions zillions-timed. ROAR!

what is this, what is this!
GOSH.
i'm not gonna help you when sy wana squash you!


If you have 2 weeks to live what would you do?
i was just thinking alright.

totally spend 100bucks yesterday.
im like SUPPOSE TO SAVE UP.
i really cant save la. i tried.

went to church yesterday,
pastor was preaching on;
"letting go" and also something else.
yes, my daddy god up there has a fucking tendancy
to talk to me when i attend church.
melissa stared at me again, ling slept in church.

pastor said:
"if you are angry all the time, the person only gets the hold of you."
"now, you wouldn't want that would you, the person controlling you."

his right, thats just a tinny winny bit tho.
i thought it through.
i've let it go.

had Carls Jr again.
mel and ling were fighting about the place to eat,
me and [shit i forgot her name again.] hahaha.
ohwell, ohoh.. shi ley.
yes, that cute girl that has the same birthday as me!!

mel wanted pepper lunch or Carls Jr,
ling wanted to go to a restraunt for dessert buffet or xiao long bao.

and so i dragged shi ley away and let them fight it out.
ling was hitting mel and mel was just ouching all the way.
hahhaa.

had funfunfun.
the whole day with them. =]


OHOH. RONG IS COMING BACK SOON. GOSH.
RRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG!!


More Updates on;
Leave a comment here and I’ll.....

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NYSA.
1. Tell you why I befriended you.
Because you can totally bitch,
the songs that you listen to are so totally my type of songs,
we really want to try to rob a bankk together with fynn!

2. Associate you with a song / movie.
fairytales and castles
your a dreamer! hahah.

3. Tell a random fact about you.
you and food and always trying to lose weight!

4. Tell a first memory about you.
that time my lappy was playing - when you look me in the eyes,
and you actually sang along with me
although you were at the other end of the classroom.
then we started talking about songs and other stuff.

5. Associate you with an animal / fruit.
ant.
seemingly common, but strengths beyond expectations.
seem to have a lot inside you but you don't really tell.

6. Ask something I’ve always wanted to know about you.
NYSA i see you with your hair down?
pretty please.
Hahhaha.

7. In return, you must post this in your own LJ.
YUP. so that i can comment too!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SHEAR.
1. Tell you why I befriended you.
because i can speak to you in korean and you would understand,
somehow we both found out that we love to draw,
and decoration stuff is like fun for us.
you get embarassed so easily it's kinda cute actually.

2. Associate you with a song / movie.
fairytales and castles.
hold on girl, it's tough, reality always is.

3. Tell a random fact about you.
you keep insisting your man when i'm not around you.
But i refuse to admit so,
if you cut your hair like mine and become a bung,
i would so totally kill you!

4. Tell a first memory about you.
i know the first time i meet you was in class together with cyn and celest.
guys were actually really afraid of me then weren't you?
then when the teacher picked for us to be together in class deco team,
we actually won alot of prizes.
5. Associate you with an animal / fruit.
i dont care, your a plant.
A MIMOSA.

6. Ask something I’ve always wanted to know about you.
if you rather not tell me, i rather not know.

7. In return, you must post this in your own LJ.
yup, do just that. =]

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TEDDY BEAR WITH PINK DRESS.
1. Tell you why I befriended you.
Because you are such spit-fire hothead!
you also one lil POTATO.
we were so much into graffiti then
we drew on everything that is WHITE in school,
meaning tables, chairs and walls.
clummest friend since forever, why did i even get to know you lor,
torture myself only, so much more pampered then me.
Your weak like hell, i can bully you like mad.
And yes, I LOVE YOU.
YOUR MY TEDDY BEAR IN PINK DRESS.

2. Associate you with a song / movie.
Ocean Avenue.!

3. Tell a random fact about you.
MELANIEEEEE arhhhhh...
STOP THE POOH BEAR MADNESS.
you have a fucking shrine! omg.

4. Tell a first memory about you.
i cant really remember.but i think...
it was when the teacher rearranged the whole class,
you were sitted at the first row and i was at the second row right behind you.
then we started talking ever since then,
then we started singing and sleeping,
anything that is in no relation to school.

i remember when we talked,
irritating the teacher like mad.
only you always kana from the teacher.!
WAHAHHAA.

5. Associate you with an animal / fruit.
MANGO
sweet, looking solid but actually softy on the inside.
then there's that seed at the center, easily bruised like your heart.


6. Ask something I’ve always wanted to know about you.
WILL YOU MARRY ME? hahha.

7. In return, you must post this in your own LJ.
do that and post one ON ME!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
REINA.
1. Tell you why I befriended you.
because i hate banana's and your one!
haha, okay seriously.
because you totally say the funiest things ever,
you have the weirdest ideas for fun.
because you always say things truthfully when i want you too.

2. Associate you with a song / movie.
UMBRELLA.

3. Tell a random fact about you.
you really can't sing in tune!
totally, even with the music on.

4. Tell a first memory about you.
you were looking such a nerd then,
i didn't really talk to you although
you were in the same class as me.

then you suprised us all,
YOU ARE MADNESS.
trying to act guai ONLY.

5. Associate you with an animal / fruit.
BANANA.
yes, still a banana.
because there is a saying,
Once a Banana,
Forever a Banana.

6. Ask something I’ve always wanted to know about you.
I think i know everything.
but you wana know something else?
I HATE YOUR BOYFRIEND STILL.

7. In return, you must post this in your own LJ.
yup you better do this lor,
the 100 questions you refuse to do,
stop being such a lazy ASS!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Leave a comment here and I’ll;
1. Tell you why I befriended you.
2. Associate you with a song / movie.
3. Tell a random fact about you.
4. Tell a first memory about you.
5. Associate you with an animal / fruit.
6. Ask something I’ve always wanted to know about you.
7. In return, you must post this in your own LJ.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FYNN.
1. Tell you why I befriended you.
you make me laugh, your great at making my boring classroom life exciting,
we can talk all the rubbish and come up with the weirdest ideas EVER.
AND because you dress lolita!

2. Associate you with a song / movie.
Bleeding Love.

3. Tell a random fact about you.
YOU and YOUR SHOES.
you just hate wearing shoes.

4. Tell a first memory about you.
i duno lehhh. i think, it's the earliest i can remember.
i think it's like 1 week into school.
i was in the same group as you, look across and
first thing i saw was that BLEACH streak on your hair.
totally fell in love with it.
you noticed me looking at you,
you talked to me; first words out first.
"were you that girl at cyber camp?
i love your hair, then and now.
do you recognise me?"

5. Associate you with an animal / fruit.
strawberry.
looking unique, looking good, mostly sweet and juicy.
plus your always the cheery thing.

6. Ask something I’ve always wanted to know about you.
since your bisexual.
where did you find your boyfriend!
andandand prefer bungs or girls as girls?

7. In return, you must post this in your own LJ.
YES. PLEASE DO THIS.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SRI.
1. Tell you why I befriended you.
well, we seem to click along just fine don't we.
because you hug me real tight and i love it.
i can talk to you about anything in the world.!

2. Associate you with a song / movie.
irreplaceable.
yes, a strong willed women.
get up and shashay, just as easily.

3. Tell a random fact about you.
YOU LOVE HITTING ME AND PINCHING ME!
When i got a BRUISE from your pinch that time
my mum thought i got into a fight.

4. Tell a first memory about you.
you were awfully quiet the first few time.
but scorpios are all like that dont we,
under that we are MADNESS!
your smile was infectious, you smell nice too
and i love your hugs lah.

you remind me of sheena.

5. Associate you with an animal / fruit.
porcupine!
softy on the inside actually,
but then hard cover makes people sometimes forget so.
angered and get a hell lot back.

6. Ask something I’ve always wanted to know about you.
did you really have a C***H on me, like they said?

7. In return, you must post this in your own LJ.
yes darling, do just that.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SEBAS.
1. Tell you why I befriended you.
because you are retarded
and your smelly
and your my dumby.!!
thats why i love you!! hahah.

okayokay. truthfully.
because your nice, really sensitive and sweet.
we have the same preference for like FOODYY.
we seem to click just like that, despite our sex.
we can't stop bickering and we always do stupid things.

2. Associate you with a song / movie.
Beautiful soul.
because of her, you should know.

3. Tell a random fact about you.
HAHA. you can really whine back at me!

4. Tell a first memory about you.
i think its's when we asked about horoscopes and jiejie was so scorpio-ist
she was like complaining about her boyfriend
AND like saying all scorpios are the same,
so i stared at you and you stared at me.
then we both went; "WHERE GOT THE SAME!"
then we ganged up against her ever since then.

ever since then,
we bicker,
we ran around the class,
you always take something and HIT ME.!
the guys carried you and
threw you into the GIRLS toilet.!

5. Associate you with an animal / fruit.
A COW!
your really harmless, you give and don't take much.
i love steak! hahaha.

6. Ask something I’ve always wanted to know about you.
I KNOW EVERYTHING ALREADY LAAAAAAA! haha.
you can totally buy the ipod touch you promised. im smiley shit.
*GRINS*

7. In return, you must post this in your own LJ.
NOT FAIR YOU DUN HAVE A BLOG.!!!!!!!!
you must write it in a letter and give it to me MONDAY!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ZINC.
1. Tell you why I befriended you.
because we were in the same REBELLIOUS class of 3E5.
everyone is united and stuff.
you and your lame jokes, kills my mood sometimes
but it makes me smile when you even try to amuse me.
your my DRINKING BUDDY.

2. Associate you with a song / movie.
Way Back Into Love.

3. Tell a random fact about you.
you are so manly, chop of your boobs.
AND i swear sometimes i doubt your sex.
your a pure guy.!

4. Tell a first memory about you.
i can barely remember,
i know i see you around high school.
but i never talked to you,
till i mixed around with Song hui.

during then i thought you were freaking manly still.

5. Associate you with an animal / fruit.
a marshmallow.
people know that your soft, inside out.
just like how easily a marshmallow melts,
thats how easy you break.

6. Ask something I’ve always wanted to know about you.
No, i don't want to know what she has done.
because if so, i will hate her more.
and i know, you don't want that.

7. In return, you must post this in your own LJ.
YES! do it!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


TODAY IS A TOTAL WASTE OF A DAY.
christ has been:
- slacking
- checking out websites
- reading and looking at gross stuff the whole day!
- just keep saying squidward, squidward, squidward.

I SWEAR.
not even A USE OF BRAIN CELLS.
well, maybe the trip to the dreadful place spoiled my enthu-ness.
seriously.
my mum even called during my breakout.
why?
well, she went to get my report from the doctor.
while i was in school.
the doctor is like saying some extra heatbeat,
some psychology session, some heart specialist.
bullshit. rawr!

then she told me A&E straight if it hurts.
great how great.
she scared me, myself and i.
the ruby beside me was even
more afraid of me after she heard.
How could a person ever be afraid of herself.
LOOK AT ME LOR.
>.<


Fynn hates me!
sadness.sadness.sadness.
she hates me over a questionare!

As i was saying,
i was reading and looking at gross stuff the whole day!

dun believe me?
Check out this two sites:
site 1:
http://www.youcapturedme.blogspot.com/

for this website, you have to scroll halfway thru.
it's about a real cannibalism that happened,
the details and emotions are so vividly described its a HORROR.

next up, site 2:
what miracles make-up can do...
http://tw.myblog.yahoo.com/amily-marco/article?mid=4020&prev=4023&l=a&fid=6

Check this out.!!
had me thinking twice about dating girls that put make-up!
LOOK OUT PEOPLE.!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
let me make a point.
i'm sorry for the answer to this question.

82. Who is more important to you? Girlfriend or friends?
GIRLFRIENDS.
sebastian is VERY and i mean VERY UPSET ABOUT IT.
sorry seeebbbbbaaasss~~
I MEANT GIRL AND BOYFRIENDS!
=]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MY NEW PLAY THING!
remember the ones that
we play with when we were young?





some chio-ness.
one look and
i knew i have to get it!

my very own barrel of slime.
was suppose to go shopping one lor,
in the end, ended up in some TOY shop.
they sell all types of
AMUSING AND INTERESTING STUFF!!














lovely Huuurrr.
too bad can see lala's head
in the reflection there.

she just insists on being in the picture!
chey.











MY SLIMEY.
it's call a horror.

lala regrets her's
she loves mine more.
=P











LALA's SLIME.
hers is REALLY SLIME lor.
you know like those in GHOST BUSTERS.

SLIME!
EWWWW.













LALA.
she came to pick me up after school.
since zinc Skipped school!

We went mad in my classroom...
off-ed the lights,
BLAST the music.
SCREAMED AND SANG,
BAM.

then the auntie came in.
so paisei but we still continued!

i love you so. haha.
no matter how dumb your getting!






like just now, while we were buying kueh tutu.
the lady gave me mine straight.
then yours took a really long time.
i asked you to hold my kueh tutu,
then they will rush yours through.
you actually believed me and hold it for like 3 mins before it hit you.
Before you realised that i was kidding and you were so dumb.
you actually fall for the same trick again at the interchange.
but i love you so, still.






ZINC.
As you can tell zinc is not feeling really well.
she doesn't need a doctor tho.
just that someone, it's a heart matter.

i'm sorry i can't go PLAY with you.
Sensible Christ is taking a hold.
plus, we have school tomorrow don't we?
the rest is HUSHHUSH.

ihatethewayyouhurther.
fuck.











i'm sorry if i came out cold.
i'm sorry if i made you doubt.
no, it's not the way it seems to be.

it's not you.
i told you.
i'm not angry with you.

good people passes away.
i offer my condolences.

don't worry.
it means i will live a hell long life.


that DREADFUL PLACE.
tramatised!
it's horrible lor.
got molested like a hell lot of times.
the doctor was really nice to me tho,
had like nurses rushing around me.

disgusting the smell of the DREADFUL PLACE.
the clothes that i had to change into have that smell too.

had like 4 hours of free time in between rushing about.
first were just sketches.

GRUESOME.






















then the drawings, i was totally having fun.
then the people peeping over my shoulder had me stopping.
so kpo for what.!
so my drawings go unfinished...






















okay, then i got like totally cold feet.
had ERD and like X-rayed.
fuck shit.

the doctor was so worried.
so she forgot to weigh me.
hahahhaa. PEACE!
She was nice, she gave me like 2 days MC.
which i don't think i'm gonna use.

they referral-ed me.
specialist they say.
i don't want.







TAGGED BY TEDDY BEAR WITH PINK DRESS.
yes, i tot she love me.
she gave me a 100 questions to do!


01. What have you been doing recently?
that depends how recent is recently?

02. Do you ever turn you cell phone off?
No! hmmm... just that few times.

03. What happened at 10.00am today?
it was 1st breakout, was at the canteen with SCAVE.
shovis distributed the presents she got for us all.

04. When did you last cry?
Last night.

05. What is your favourite thing to eat with peanut butter?
hmmm.. hate peanut butter.
but if i really have to, biscuit.

06. What do you want in your life right now?
haha. i duno.

07. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
Hood.

08. What’s your favourite thing to have on your bed?
baobao.

09. What bottom are you wearing now?
FBTs.

10. What’s the nicest text in your inbox say?
how would i know which to choose.

11. Do you tend to make a relationship complicated?
yea. i admit, somehow.

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
no.

13. What was the last movie you caught?
SEX AND THE CITY!

14. What are you proud of?
hahhaa. myself for going to school on time!

15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say?
Super happy to see you =] so coincidential can.
we were talking about meeting up yesterday,
then i saw you just now.

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
Who knew - pink

17. Do you have any nicknames?
oh many, plentiful!

18. What does your last received text message say? Who was it from?
you owe me a meet up.. -Aisyah

19. What time did you go to bed last night?
i duno, i fell asleep msging.

20. Are you currently happy?
you could say so.

21. Who gives you best advice?
it's here and there, no specifics.

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
YES!! lalala.~

23. Who did you talk on phone last night?
no one.

24. Is anything bugging you right now?
yes, about tomorrow.

25. What/who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?
FYNN.

26. Do you wear toe socks?
nope.

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?
Evelyn. ><

28. Have you ever had your heartbroken?
Yes.

29. What annoys you most in a person?
it's easier to show you, people meet zinc.

30. Do you have a crush on anyone? HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA.

31. Have you ever done cocaine?
i don't do drugs, you dope.

32. What is the colour of your room?
which wall? the base? initially before i painted on it?
majority is a really light shade of lavender.

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar?
DUHHHH. can i choose one to kill right now?

34. Do you believe in the saying ‘talk is cheap’?
yea.

35. Who was the last person to lie in your bed?
there were many persons you know, they raped my bed.
my poor bed.

36. Who was the last person to hug you?
kristin.

37. Did anyone see the last person you kissed?
shut up, don't remind me.

38. Do you have a life?
NO I DON'T.
fuck who doesn't have a life.
goodness.

39. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didn’t?
NO. but the other way round, alot of times.

40. What is the reason behind your profile song?
it's like random likings.

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?
i rarely dream.

42. Last time you smiled?
just now.

43. Have you changed this year?
EVERDAY would be a better word. haha.

44. What are you listening right now which ear?
right side - the TV, left side - music.

45. Are you talking to someone when you doing this?
nah. not really, msging counts?

46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
OPEN LAH! but on SCREEN SAVER.
ask THEM about the number of times
i almost died but nobody wants to try to save me .

47. Is there a quote you live by?
you draw your life.
you build it up from sketches.
you paint you.

48. Do you want someone you can’t have?
do i really have to answer this

49. Have you ever played an instrument?
DUH.

50. What was the worst idea you’ve had in week?
i can hardly remember.!
like drink three different drinks all at a go?
or decided with fynn that we switch off all the lights,
BLAST music, drink alcohol and DANCE AWAY
at the front of the classroom.

51. What were you doing last night at 11.00pm??
my 1 hour bath~

52. Are you happy with your love life right now?
it's alright lah.

53. What song best describe your love life?
LET'S MAKE LOVE IN THIS CLUB.

54. Does the person know that you like him/her?
they do.

55. Who always make you laugh?
everyone except zinc

56. Do you speak other language other than English?
yeap.

57. Favourite website?
man, your boring me lor.

58. What's your middle name?
crush on me. hahah.

59. What are you doing tomorrow?
the dreadful place.

60. What do you think you are like?
i don't really know.
bad tempered, retardedly stubborn,
im pampered not spoilt.
i'm cute?others say pretty-i wana puke.
i duno lah. see for yourself.

I STOPPED AT QUESTION 60 YESTERDAY NIGHT.
this is killing me!

61. Who will you choose to die with?
there... HER.

62. Where have you been today?
that dreadful place.

63. What game do you play often?
the predicting game.

64. Who are you missing right now?
you, you, you and that someone else.

65. If you’ve to choose between friend n loves, who will you choose?
Friends and loves arh..
they won't make me choose de lah.

66. What are you doing right now?
YOU SAY LEH. not obvious what.

67. Which primary school are you from?
hahhahahaaa... in singapore?
PPS.

68. Name 3 colours that you like?
black, grey, white.

69. What emotion you like to show?
puppy eyes.

70. What is your life to you?
whats life to you then?

71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
go quiet and think it through.

72. Who did you last chat in msn today?
hadn't been on msn.

73. Who so you admire most?
BILLIONARES.

74. Which month are you born in?
November.

75. How are you feeling right now?
not so well, considering what i been through today.

76. What is the time now?
7.55pm

77. what kind of person do u think the one who tagged u is??
she's retardly cute, maddy, makes me laugh until i had to sit on the floor.
she's infectious lah, like some virus like that.
my teddybear in pink dress, comforting lor.
ps: i love herrrr. (yes, she's my gf and she says she's gonna marry me.)

78. What colour did you use to dye hair?
i cant remember.
orange beige? or isit orange brown, or like orange blonde.
whichever, whatever.

79. Why are you doing this test?
MEEEEEENNNNNNYYYYYY LAH.

80. What do you do when you’re moody?
seek comfort in darkness. = my room.

81. At which age you wish to get married?
marriage. marriage. marriage.
when i found the right one lor.

82. Who is more important to you? Girlfriend or friends?
GIRLFRIENDS.

83. If today is the last day of your life, what will you do?
i don't do goodbyes lehhhh...
don't tell them a word,
then hold a party, call every single one of them up
and make sure it's something they all will remember.
then feel like dying already just slip away or something.

84. Who is the person you trust the most?
for me to know, for you to NOT find out.

85. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?
yup.

86. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?
just make me filthy rich and i'm successful on my own.

87. What is your goal for this year?
Get
Old
And
Loserish.

88. Do you believe in eternity love?
nope.

89. What feeling do you love most?
HAPPINESS lah.
second in line would be the world swaying. haaha.

90. Do you really think its Gobal Warming now?
YES!!

91. What feeling you hate the most?
suppressed anger.

92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
yea.

93. Do you believe in god?
yes.

94. Who cares for you most?
MY GIRLFRIENDS. okayokay...
and the many guys in my life i take for granted.

95. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
SHOPPING!

96. What will you bring when you fight?
baseball bat.

97. What have you done regretted doing in your whole life?
fuck you.

98. What would you feel that on one no longer cares for you?
feeell? you say leh. NOBODY CARES LEH.
just die lor. no biggy.

99. What if your stead two-timed you?
hahhaa. try first lor.

100.What do you want now?
erase memory.


Instructions:Remove 1 question from the above add in your own personal question, and bold it.
Next list 10 people whom you would want them to do this, at the end of the post.
Notify them In their tag box that he/she has been tagged.

1.gracia
2.minn
3.zinc
4.reina
5.fynn
6.ghee
7.ashley
8.Sri
9.Aisyah
10.scave - either one of you, i dun care.


RANDOM-NESS.





wow,
i found this book lying on the table.
i wonder who was reading this.

curiousity took a hold, took a peek.
it's horrible.
i swear.













Shovis got me this, today.
another pressie from their
getaway during holidays.



















my two BROTHERS.
we all don't look the same don't we
at the left is kelvin,
the right is simon.


No! we are not adopted.
hahha.














MY FAVOURITE!

bitter sweet
YUMMY!

[I DUN CARE]













this is fynn! wearing my specs.
she looks cute can.
not bad with specs what.

she's missing Nysa like mad today
and that the FRAN green tea biskit
that she bought totally made her sad.
she expected more from it,
like it's supposing to bring a joy or something,
but was a dissappointment.
i was half afraid she would cry.
seriously, she's was totally down after that.







It's scary to be me, NOT.
tomorrow, would be the longest time at that place i hate the most.

I know what i'm having.
dammit.

I had:
Heart palpitations or chest pain
Trouble breathing or choking sensation
Feeling like you’re going to pass out
Trembling or shaking
Feeling detached or unreal
Feelings of apprehension or dread
Trouble concentrating
Feeling tense and jumpy
Anticipating the worst
Irritability
Restlessness
Watching for signs of danger
Feeling like your mind’s gone blank
Insomnia

blahblah blah...

Yes, a Thousand ticks off the check list.
i need a mask tomorrow.
hopefully they won't question too much
and just put it off as something simple.
i need a strong hard one.

no full body scans please.
no emotion manipulation please.
no needles.
no more appointments please.



reina's logic to waking up early:

SINCE CHRIST CAN DO IT,
SO CAN I.
SO CAN WE ALL.

=.=
yes. i'm shocking everyone.


if your sick of hearing me rant.

just fucking close this window,

thank you.


If nobody could so far,
what makes Me think there would be.
fucking ever will be.

today was one fucking good example.
pent up, deperate need for the peace
overwhelmed, came out all wrong.
stared ahead, fist clinched.
then the heart slowed.
flinch and teared against the pain.
that's the loser in me.
ever is, forever would be.

looks pure indifference.
a facade, a blur.
take, glances and looked my way.
one mask after another i changed.
until i deem fit on one.

i think the other saw it all,
the changes.
the emotions.
other was looking into my eyes.
trying.
i smiled and laughed it off.
other smiled too.

noone, noone would know.
if another can live without telling any other soul why can't i.
another seem fine, seems broken but strong.
i tolerated the pain.
i had the cold soul.


no i do not fabric nor build out of nothingness.
i do not lie, i say half truths.
truths that are incomplete.

the only that can read me ever so slightly,
i had backed off,
slowly faded out.
Only is long gone.
no. Only knows not all
but Only knows enough.
enough to tear down the walls, one brick at a time.
tough and painful for her,
but she did it once.
once, that's enough.

what you did today was a great achievement.
a great deed you have done for me.
you made me lose all hope, dad.
i remembered the only time i ever said the word, dad.
that when dreams became nightmares
and i was screaming for you to stop.
the indifference i learned throughout the years,
remember once they called me emotionless kid.
i had learned all it takes to keep you out.
it wasn't meant for them.
fuck.

i learned if i dissappoint too much
they leave me alone.
they turn away.
just the way i need it to be.

i will make One hate me,
why would i want to do that?
so that when you come for Me again,
you would only be dealing with Me and just Me.
knowing i got nothing to fall back on this time.
it's all i have left.



i'm tired of talking shit out with you.
i'm living for myself.

with-once-fabricated love;
christ.


I'm early for class.
like wowwow!
hahaha.

my head moved faster then my mouth today,
had a freaking hard time expressing myself.
><
JAVA! JAVA!JAVA!
lovely, i managed to understand.

REENA BOUGHT A CHOCOLATE
that when i counted the total calorie
its HORRIBLE! 750 calories~

i tot i would be alright if i just chomp on one.
SO WRONG CAN.
add on too my failing heart,
a tremendous headache.

class just ended.
it's raining.
and i'm too lazy to move my ass.

ohoh, valerie got me a present from HK disneyland.


SHE SAID I'M A TURNON, indirectly.
LAWLS. thats a first.
what can i say.
i believe everything about me is amusing.

YESTERDAY NIGHT.
this guy working at bliss yesterday,
he's like a newbie.
BUT newbies supposingly can differentiate
GLASS FROM AIR RIGHT?
sadly, in front of all the customers.
HE SLAMMED LEG FIRST THEN WHOLE BODY INTO THE GLASS DOORS!
imagine. i can hear him at the deck!
gosh, i laughed until i wana just sit on the floor.
he's expression and those that didnt see what happened
and were like; what happen, what happen!
i know i'm mean, but if he didn't act as if nothing happen.
i wouldn't have laughed as hard.
furthermore, since his that KINDA SOFT kind of guy.
its hilarious i tell you.


Got off work early because i complained it was so boring,
knowing Mr Jit loves me the most, he let me off.
kristin was super mad at me for going off,
i was convincing her that i would be at the restrauant eating,
so in a way, i would still be there.
and i got hit with a bill book for that.

Well, ghee, CH, zinc, SC and CH's fren, were heading down at 11.00
So i waited for them at the bus stop,

i had a total scare of my life, like half of me went out the window.!

This Taxi dropped off THREE AH GUA's right in front of me.
i looked up and they were like staring at me.
somehow, i have a freaking uneasy feeling.
So i sat down and continue msg-ing.
i could feel their eyes on me when they passby.
i like totally breathe a sign of relief, when they just walked pass.
THEN they stopped and turn around,
facing me about 4 steps away.
they were like discussing something.
so i somehow tilt mine head sideways, pretending to check for the bus.
then one of them smiled at me.
i totally went on code red. [which means evacated immediately]
then the one smiling at me actually took a step towards me...
i was like freaking screaming in my head;
FUCK i'm a girl.!
i'm not a pretty boy, dude.
I have a fear of girls with guys throats, period.
Just then, zinc called. phew.
i bet zinc didn't notice, i did make it slighty whiney. haha
hearing my voice, they went on their way.
i have a girl's voice don't I.? hahahaa.


Well then, when they all arrived.
i swear, me and ghee pigged our way thru.
i insist NO alcohol!! - that SC wana drink sia.
okayyy.. ignore the rest and look at what me and ghee ate.
Let's see the list:
-Luncheon fries [yes, it's luncheon meat fried in fries way.]
-Sotong balls [theirs is different i swear!]
-Skinful chicken [yup, fried chicken skin, ghee's FAV!]
-Nuggets[chicky winky.]
-Cheesy sausage [thats a 6 inch, with like a whole load of MOZARALLA CHEESE!]
-Oreo milkshake [ghee's drink]
-Earl grey float [my drink.]
EXPLAINS INSOMIA. ><

THIS MORNING.
i had like total insomia.
i bet it's all the food and that stupid knot
in the gut that has been there ever since i woke up sat.



IT'S SCHOOL TOMORROW.
I'M SO SCREWED!!


I'm intimidating?
when i looked them in the eye
actually turned red in the face,
they look away.
guy or girl, it doesn't matter actually.

is it my speech that leave more then one speechless?
when they said to me stuff that they kept inside,
saying that they didn't mean to spill all on me.

is it the look of indifferent on my face
that no matter how harsh it might be,
had you pushing more? had you throwing stuff more?

intimidating, i know.
yes, im indifferent.
because you can't read my eyes.


Tagged by minn!

1. if ur lover betrayed u, what would ur reaction be??
Give the Silent treatment.

2. if u can have a dream to come true, what would it be??
hmm.. everything to be perfect.

3. what will ur dream wedding to be like??
I will let you know when im 20+.

4. are u confused as to what lies ahead of u??
not really. excited is the word.

5. what's ur ideal lover like??
female? duhhh.
nice smelling.
what else... NO FARDS.

6. which is more blessed?? loving someone or being loved by someone??
both ways.

7. how long do u intend to wait for someone u reali love??
till they are truely happy.

8. if the person u secretly like is already attached, what would u do??
kiss and leave by the backdoor.

9. is there aniting that made u unhappy these daes??
Nah. it's pretty normal.
i need to keep my temper in check tho.

10. is being tagged fun??
kinda, maybe.

11. how do u see urself in 10 years time??
wow. 29! somewhere, really into my career i guess.

12. who are curently the most impt people to u??
friends, family.
my dog. [ignore the people.]

13. what kind of person do u think the one who tagged u is??
she's superbly BLUR, gullible, she's nice and sweet actually.
she's got a wilful nature, god-behold kinda thing.
her parents are so gonna die sometime soon, her horns are showing.

14. would u rather be rich and single, or married but poor??
Rich and single sounds pretty awesome.

15. what's the first ting u do every morning??
open my freaking eyes, adjust to the freaking darkness.

16. would u give all in a relationship??
nah.

17. if u fall in love wif 2 people simultaneously, who would u pick??
fall in love? with 2 simultaneously?
IMPOSSIBLE.
you mean a crush on two right?
then just go ahead.

18. what type of frenz do u like??
how would i know.
look at my friends!
i would say we are weird. hahaha.

19. what type of frenz do u dislike??
FARDS. duhh.


Tagged by christ:
1.Zinc
2.ghee
3.menny
4.Reina
5.gracia
6.Fynn
7. pebbles


I INSIST.

what's wrong in taking a cabby at like 2+am.
LIKE TOTALLY WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT?
huuhhhh?

zinc scolded me like MORE THEN 5 TIMES,
"YOU FREAKING PAMPERED KID."
lucky she never add brat in.
i can totally hear mr wee's voice
screaming that at menny and me, last time.

if i had a bat, would have taken a swing already lor.
you expect me to walk like a 10 mins walk from your house to mine?
AT LIKE 2+am?
okayy... and i did.
because REINA INSIST on walking too.


rawr.
i very bu shuang.!


DETERMINED.
went to watch TV before grabbing foody,
the news is a horror this few days.
the hikes in prices, protests and kidnappings.
the earthquakes and tornados, loss of homes.
the mental effects on the kids who lost it all...

I switched off the TV.

YESTERDAY.
well, after a long day out.
met my family for dinner without simon,
because when i called him, he was saying his at jurong.
like wow.
We went to a international restrauant,
all ate like a freaking pig.
mum had great time eating her crab as usual,
i had a awesome time eating sashimi
since nobody else eats that other then simon
and usually simon... you know how fast guys eat!
so i had the whole thing to myself. salmonsalmon~
then we had a hundred more dishes... hahaa.

Then we went shopping and decided to catch the incredible hulk, movie.
haha. cute ain't it.
we actually had a debate, choosing the movie.
my mum and me wanted to watch kungfu panda.
but my dad and kelvin wanted to watch the hulk.

and so i decided to ignore everyone and walked to the counter,
wanted to get the tickets for kungfu panda,
the women just had to tell me: "sorry, sold out."
>.<
so i bought ticks for the hulk instead.
and gave them to my dad,
know what he did?
he was like;"yeah, i win, i win!"
of course i just went; "HMPH."

whatever.
rawr.

after the movie ended at 11.30pm
had rush off to meet the rest
waiting for me at BLISS.
i had to run the rest of the way into the park,
traffic was slow can.

KGT.
that RED HOT PEPPER was super complaining
on when we are going with her to mambo jumbo night at Zouk.

Furthermore, she insists on scaring me.
She showed me this piece of foldered paper,
with a POLICE CREST at the top.
i was like thinking; "holy crap, what happened."
and so i look at her but her expression was blank.
i took the paper from her and unfold it.
then i saw, this statement:
"YOU CAN DRIVE WHILE AWAITING THE
DELIEVERY OF YOUR PHOTOCARD DRIVING LICENCE."
she just have to Hao Lian to me she passed her TP.

Zinc is no better can,
another HAO LIAN ONE!
she say she passed her ftt!
which means she's left with her TP.
she asked me to wait till october,

WOOOHHHOOOO.
SAYING GOODBYE TO TRAINS AND BUSES.
=]

they are so totally tempting me to go back and take my freaking btt.
argh, i will think about it.
TIME. i need time.

2am.
i hope time passes fast.

MAN.
SCHOOL IS STARTING!!
IN TWO DAYS!! AHHHHHHH!!!
im gonna die of my oh-so-screwed bio-clock.


IM TOTALLY AFRAID OF THE TASTE OF ALCOHOL!
maybe its just temporary.
but then again
thinking of my liver,
and insisting that i never want to have zinc's liver no matter what.
i decided to not drink unless neccessary,
which means cutting down. =]

Tell me how you would feel if you had
acohol more then plain water for like 5 days a week.
let me tell you; GROSS OUT.!!

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
i begin to feel a stash of meat somewhere, growing out from my belly.
IM GOING GYM LATER!!!

LALALA.
im off today. FREE MAN.~
im gonna do some drawings. =]]
how i miss those days.
the plentiful amount of time.


YESTERDAY.
reached home at 5.30am.
We went to vivo for the movie.
It was great, expect for AHEM.
AHEM means someone kept giggling and
was super spoiling my mood throughout the show.
I saw you-don't-wana-know-who.
hmmm.. talk about pictures?
she seem worse in person.

Ever got hit-on in the toilet?
it's weird okay, like i didn't even think it would happen.
Reina and Mama, were like saying that
that girl was so damn obvious.
zinc would never notice a change even if the whole turns upside down.
as the story goes:
Apparently, she was standing behind me and so after a while,
she actually walked backwards and crashed into me.
then she grabbed my shoulder and said i'm sorry
[which according to them, was whiney.]
being me i just glance her and said; "nah, it's alright."
then i turned around back to the mirror.
after a very long while then did she walk out.

what could i say,
It's either no interest at the current moment
or my senses went numbed. haha.

ps: i'm faithful to the teddy bear with pink dress.
*winks*


Let's just hope the bamboo today won't boss me around.
and im working at the deck with kristin and jen.

It's pathetic how humans are,
sadistic to be exact.
why issit that you refuse to truely forgive the person
unless you actually done some damage back?
why issit that only when a person cries then
would the others back off and take pity instead?
why issit that we have to feel the pain to learn?

once,
twice,
forever.


Insensitivity,
who could blame them.
they threw it at me, said stuff.
unknowingly,
they did damaged unseen.
facade was all that they see.





A chapter closed.
Just yesterday,
i tot it would hurt when i walked through
that place full of our memories.
but then it didn't feel that way,
it's true what my heart says.
we changed.
in time we heal.
The way it is,
I loved you.


As another begins.
But i will love you still.
Just, in another way.

I'm Christ Jaden
also known as Tineey and Jaja.
11 November 1989
Mixed blood.


And so they asked; what's life to you?









Black Tulips
Drawing
Smelling Nice
Rainy days
Jrock
Photography
Teddy Bears
SHOPPING
SUSHI.SASHIMI.


-> Bomber jackets!!


Nothing much really.
Just ____.






Aisyah

carol
Charmaine
Chanel
Debra
Evelyn
Fynn
Gracia
Ginny
Hidayah
Ivy
Jasmine
Joei
Jess
Jojo
LaLa
May
Melanie
Mitchell
Minn
Nysa
Phylis
Peckyee
Reena
Ruzanna
S.C.A.V.E.D [our group blog]
Samuel
Sebas
Sheena
Sri
Shamilli
Valerie
Wei jie
Warren
Waffles
White Turtle
yuan feng
Yah Shi
Yingchian
Yuni
Gemx
rong
zinc
Alvin

MY FRIENDSTER
FACEBOOK



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