Saturday, May 31, 2008
To seek perfection within all imperfection.when all reality does is to shove it back at your face.
the times where you have keep it back.
stay strong, try it all over again.
the need to because there are many other things to live for.
then the reason your so certain of.
but then, there are other times.
when all the lights went out on the path your walking on
and your still standing still at the same place.
wishing.
just wishing that it would come on again.
staring hard at the exact same spot where you last saw it.
got distracted and lost the place where it all used to be.
the reason you had before got dimmer, fading away.
fighting within to take a step out.
you fought, got trashed and beaten down.
then you gots tired only too soon
when the weight takes a hold.
when all you know is everything died inside.
the strength to move on is not there.
the thoughts and wishes all faded to nonexistent.
then you watch the rest around you grow.
together for so long, that you didn't notice at all.
then you took a look at yourself.
took a moment to strip yourself from the facade.
close your eyes, search deep within.
I lost it all.
you scream your last.
i'm glad you did it all again.
you tore down the last paper wall.
my last attempt to shield myself.
yes, you gave me pain.
the nightmares that i grew up with.
of you. everyday.
i live with it now,
it all seems too real.
when all others bowed,
i refused to bow.
when they wept at your feet in their weakness,
i turned and walked away.
when you hit me,
curl up on the floor, i never once teared.
i choked on my own blood.
yes, someone helped me.
2 years ago.
she taught me what i never knew.
Then she told me to live on,
walk on and not look back.
then i decided, i won't give you the final victory.
I never went back since.
i dissapponted her.
she was wrong about me.
this time;
i don't need guidance or a hand.
i just want it all to end.
once and for all.
when all comes to an end.
leaving behind a beautiful chaos... 7:21 PM.
