Thursday, February 7, 2008
Im sick of my emo self.
all the negative thoughts.
where the fuck did optimism went to?
well, im pass over it.
it was suppose to be a countdown yesterday..
what was i doing?
One whole day locked up in my room and i cried my heart out.
the puffy eyes and soaked pillow.
the lack of sleep.
yup, had me putting on makeup to cover up for today's, FIRST DAY of chinese new year.
well, oh well, had my last heartfelt cry in grandma's room when i saw her last msg and her goodbyes and apologies.
it hurts, but its for the best.
let it all go. i cant be selfish. because i need her to move on.
i cried for the lost. and now im back to my normal self.
i didnt realise just how much we both are making each other so miserable.
i didnt need the mask. or maybe its on but i dun notice it anymore..
with or without it doesnt matter anymore..
Im feeling a hell lot better. =]well, evee is right.
ITS A NEW YEAR, new beginnings.
i shall leave behind all unhappiness.
I said what i need to say for her to be gone.
she was hurt, she said i was throwing her away, pushingher away.
little did she know;
she had a really important place in my heart.we can never be together and we both know that.its best to ignore my pain and make sure i throw her as far away as possible,so that she will never look back..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................a last long hug.a last night together with her.a last look of her face so close to mine, sleeping on my shoulder.A last memory of her.i shall go meet zinc, mama!!!, larlar, greg and the rest of the gang at our usual hangout now.
some drinks, cards and a hell lot of catch up to do. gawd i miss
mama!!well, im all smiles this time.
angel is so sacarstic in the group blog gggaawwwddd.. im gona get back at her... haha.
in the mean time HAVE FUN PEOPLE~~
leaving behind a beautiful chaos... 9:03 PM.
